Hate being single.

I broke up with my boyfriend last week. Even when I know it is the best still hurts when I remember him. The first two days I felt fine but I cried a lot the third day. I guess it is the abstinence syndrome. He was my best friend. I really enjoyed his company.

Still he is just another man in this world full of them, maybe I will be sad one or two months but later I will be fine. I really always knew that I was too much for him. I will find a man that really loves me. I have no intentions to think that I will never find a man like him or to be depressed. I refuse! I refuse! I refuse! It is not the end of the world.

The thing that I really hated of my break up is that in a moment of desperation I thought that I was not enough. How in earth we put a man in the top of the world and let him to run our lives? For a moment I let him be the owner of my future. When we lose a loved one, why we allow ourselfs to feel like life has no longer sense?

In a point I felt so miserable that I thought I could never be happy again. LIES! Those are lies that we create. A break up with someone is a door that has infinity of opportunities behind it. An opportunity to love yourself, to enter to that class of guitar or dance that you ever wanted but never had the time, to start going to the gym, a chance to know better persons, to travel to a new place. Anything and everything you want.

Put your head up, start to think in the future, work in becoming a better person and in some point, when you least expect it, love will be in front of you again but in the body of someone better. Now smile.

Saturday or boringday.

What happened to my Saturdays?

I was boring all day long. All the week I beg for the Friday to arrive, then it arrived and I was on bed by 9:40 pm.Of course I had plenty to do but I was so tired that I preferred a warm bath and a cozy bed.

I woke up Saturday morning at 9:40 am -Yes, I slept 12 hours, it is a family condition- I ate breakfast in the garden to avoid the routine, I wrote like 2 hours with still my pajama on, then I looked for a movie in the TV and I found Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix and at the same time Revenge, at 3 pm I hit the gym for 2 hours, then I went to the ATM, then in my house I ate a hot dog and I took a shower. Now I am back in my laptop writing and checking my Facebook at the same time to see if one of my friends appears. But still I am boring. How Saturdays are suppose to be? Am I getting that old?

This is how I wish my Saturdays were.
Wake up at 8 am, get ready to go for a little breakfast with my best friends, then go to the gym, take a shower and get together with my family in a restaurant in the afternoon, write a few hours after that, drawing a little, watch TV and in the night go out with my boyfriend. Or escape to the beach all weekend long. Or go to a spa or to have a pedi and a mani, go shopping, and eat ice scream.

Well I like to think that not even Paris Hilton have all Saturdays like she wanted them to be. Probably she does not know what a weekend is, all days is Saturday for her.

I need a new hobby.

Happiness in the simple things of life.

In my new job there are these 4 people that adopted me like a new member of their crew. Three of them are married and with children, however there are still very young like in theirs earlier 30. The thing is that they are always complaining about their lives and their more frequent advise to me is: Marry someone with money.
For God sake, why they can't be happy with the simple things in life, like family and friends, health and ice cream? They are good looking, they have good jobs, they married the love of their life and had children with them, I would kill to have a family of my own!

When the things in your life are not as great as you want them to be you need to find the beauty in the things that surround you, for example, I love the little travel from my house to my job with the radio on, I love the sound of a soda when it is opened, I love drawing and to see pictures in the magazines, I love to sleep, I love to make plans with my friends, and to close my eyes and imagine my boyfriend near to me.

Everyday I see these people over the streets without shoes, asking for money to eat, under the brave sun, weak, hopeless, suffering, while I am in my car with the a/c on and on my way to my house with my family to rest, should I complaint about my life? Have people forgotten to be simply happy?

We need to be more grateful, we have been blessed with so many things for so long that we forgot that in any moment anything could be worst.. or better, if we work for it. In the meantime just remember to be happy with what you have that is a little fortune for those who have nothing.

A weekend in heaven..

There is this new song from Zoe that says "Quiero un fin de semana en el cielo ♪ (I want a weekend in heaven)" and that is exactly what I had. I did not go to a big city or a famous beach, it was just my boyfriend and I alone in his apartment without rules, without my mother watching the time I arrive to the house or calling me a thousand times because is late and I have spent to many hours with my guy. Yes, she is that kind of mom.

All my family were on vacation last weekend, and the serenity I experienced was just majestic. I had the chance to sleep two nights with my love, and in the middle of the night, naked and in his arms I just knew heaven. Watching movies at night, sleeping wrapped in his body, waking up next to his beautiful face, breakfast together, cleaning the house together, all those magic moments that I enjoyed so much, we did simple things but next to him it was just happiness.

You know, there are moments in life so special, moments that fill your heart and make you feel so grateful, and the greatest thing is that you don't need money to get them or travel far away, just need to be a little lucky and find the right person that make you feel complete in every way. It does not matter where you are, or what you are doing, sometimes the thing that only matter is with who you are ♥ :)

When I grow up I wanna be...

I wish I had knew since kid what I wanted to be in my life. I remember many people that told me that they always knew they will be doctors, engineers, actors, artists, but me, I passed from wanting to be a doctor, to fashion designer, to writer, to artist but at the end I went to the engineering school. What a mistake.

I am always complaining about this choice in my life, and people ask me: why did you study engineering? and I answer because I am dumb. 

This is the true reason, and I am so embarrassed of it, and I will say it in cold without drama. My dad was an engineer, and he left me when I was 5 years old, all my life I felt this desperate necessity for he to love me and I always though that he would be proud of me if I studied engineering, but he is not. He told me: Daughter why did you study something so difficult?, and he told this in a very cruel way. It broke my heart.

The funniest thing here is that when he retired from being an engineer he entered to the fashion school. I laughed at myself so hard. 

I wish I could start again, go back in time and choose to be a fashion designer, an artist or a writer as I always wanted, but we know this never will be possible. Now I have a full time job in the manufacturing field, I am always tired, the stress is unbearable and the money is never enough, poor tiny little me. Currently I am trying to change my life, I must to. If not I will be alive but dead inside.

The point here is that nobody will ever be happy if they do not become what they wanted to be.  This very important choice -perhaps the most important choice in life- is taken at a very young age, the sad part is that there is almost not another option, you cannot wait much longer to take it. At 17, are we ready to choose a path on life? 

Most of us were ready, I think I was ready, but when I said that I wanted to be a writer my family laughed at me, they never believed in me, they never told me that I could be whatever I wanted, that is why I never thought about being a fashion designer, because you know, that is only for rich girls.

You should choose something that you are passionate about, this is the only way that you can make an excellent work, and to be happy in an imaginable way. If you are bored of life then you should leave your job and start your own business and to die every day for it, at the end you will look back and you will realize that your life has a meaning and a purpose, and the world will become finally beautiful.