When I grow up I wanna be...

I wish I had knew since kid what I wanted to be in my life. I remember many people that told me that they always knew they will be doctors, engineers, actors, artists, but me, I passed from wanting to be a doctor, to fashion designer, to writer, to artist but at the end I went to the engineering school. What a mistake.

I am always complaining about this choice in my life, and people ask me: why did you study engineering? and I answer because I am dumb. 

This is the true reason, and I am so embarrassed of it, and I will say it in cold without drama. My dad was an engineer, and he left me when I was 5 years old, all my life I felt this desperate necessity for he to love me and I always though that he would be proud of me if I studied engineering, but he is not. He told me: Daughter why did you study something so difficult?, and he told this in a very cruel way. It broke my heart.

The funniest thing here is that when he retired from being an engineer he entered to the fashion school. I laughed at myself so hard. 

I wish I could start again, go back in time and choose to be a fashion designer, an artist or a writer as I always wanted, but we know this never will be possible. Now I have a full time job in the manufacturing field, I am always tired, the stress is unbearable and the money is never enough, poor tiny little me. Currently I am trying to change my life, I must to. If not I will be alive but dead inside.

The point here is that nobody will ever be happy if they do not become what they wanted to be.  This very important choice -perhaps the most important choice in life- is taken at a very young age, the sad part is that there is almost not another option, you cannot wait much longer to take it. At 17, are we ready to choose a path on life? 

Most of us were ready, I think I was ready, but when I said that I wanted to be a writer my family laughed at me, they never believed in me, they never told me that I could be whatever I wanted, that is why I never thought about being a fashion designer, because you know, that is only for rich girls.

You should choose something that you are passionate about, this is the only way that you can make an excellent work, and to be happy in an imaginable way. If you are bored of life then you should leave your job and start your own business and to die every day for it, at the end you will look back and you will realize that your life has a meaning and a purpose, and the world will become finally beautiful.