Divine Justice.

I have been thinking in God very much lately. Six thousands of millions of people in the world and, is He really taking care of me? How can He notice me? I am so insignificant, so small, so weak. Thoughts like these pushed me to pray and cry and pray. Then I had the sudden necessity to let go feelings that were suffocating me slowly inside.

I have detected some areas of my life I can do a huge improvement and I am ready to do a lot of changes. First of all I went with the bishop of my church and I confessed everything I have been doing wrong in the last couple of years. It was really hard, I was very embarrassed, but when I was finally out of that office a huge weight disappeared from my body. It was a blessing.

In order to change you first need to recognize that you did something wrong and you have to feel deeply sorry about it, then you have to confess -until here I am doing fine-. Next step is restitution or trying to fix the things you have done wrong and apologize people you hurt -I am working on this step-. And finally you have to take the important decision to commit to never do the same mistakes again.

It may sound easy but Gosh! it is really really hard.

I have been in this process a little while and I am feeling alone and sad, and this is normal, it suppose you have to feel this way. This horrible feeling is what you get for not doing things right, its the price you have to pay, its the way you will learn and remember that everything has consequences. This is called Justice.

When I am feeling very desperate I start to think how patience is God with us. He waits and waits very patiently for us to do the things right, and when we finally do we want immediate blessings, like if we deserve that our lives were fixed in just one day. That is not how this works.

So relax, take a deep breath every time you need, pray a lot, be patience, be good, work hard, love everyone, be kind, and it may seem nothing is changing now but it will, once you change inside everything will change outside, for good and it will be magnificent. ♥

Emily Hern